


Leave

by embulance



Series: Leave Series [1]
Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor
Genre: Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Violence, Non-graphic suicide, Other, POV Second Person, also Naoya is v possessive, and this is also why I should not be allowed in fandoms, because I make everything angst, this is probably poorly written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 16:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4107325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embulance/pseuds/embulance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>{could be considered minor AU} It had been over a year of this. You'd tried everything under the sun, but the cycle still repeats and you're still stuck living the same week, over and over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave

**Author's Note:**

> I actually have had this written up for over a year. But I never got around to typing it. Now I've actually decided to write a sequel, so I figure it's about time to finally type this up. This is a short one shot. The sequel is going to be multi-chapter and pretty long. I warn you now that the sequel is gonna be some seriously fucked up shit (like graphic torture and that kind of shit), but this could stand alone, so you don't have to read it. This is actually relatively tame.

 

It had been over a year of this… this hell. No decisions you made changed anything. You’d been King of Bel, Messiah, and tried every other route you could think of under the sun.

You were the only one aside from Naoya who even remembered the past weeks. You could quite literally recite what any given person you spoke to would say, save for Naoya, who was the only changing variable in what seemed to be God’s cruel joke.

You became more reckless in battle with stronger and stronger demons each week. You only seemed to benefit from this, often going into battles alone for sheer amusement. You prefered to leave your partner’s out of it anyways-- you did not feel they were as capable of you; you knew strengths and weaknesses and were well versed in battle at this point. You did not need help. They were easily scared. They did not know what to do. They did not know they’d lived this week over and over and fucking over. It was easier to not involve them.

If you weren’t slaughtering demons with the practiced ease of someone born for destruction-- never mind the fact that as a Bel, that’s all you were meant for, destruction and controlling-- then you were contemplating ending yourself. It was the only route you’d never attempted to take and the only route with the slightest hope that you’d escape this never ending hell.

Sometimes you wandered away from your group to speak with Naoya-- Cain, your murderer, your cousin, your brother. Once, you’d have been concerned that your only confidant was your killer, but at this point, he was the only one who could possibly begin to understand, and the only one who could care for the person you were becoming, because he was the only one who knew all the secrets you hid.

He was the only one who understood the bloodlust that you couldn’t help some days.

“Abel,” his deep voice called to you. “What brings you here, so far away from your group? It’s dangerous.”

Unfazed, you replied, “Cain, you know full well that I have no need for their protection. I can handle demons quite well.”

“Ah, well, I’d hope so. After all, how many times now have you lived this week?” The silver-haired man answered back calmly.

You sighed. “This would be the seventy-second time, or have you lost count, _brother_?”

He laughed coldly. “How could I lose count of how many times I’ve played God’s sick game? There’s almost nothing left to do at this point but sit and wait for nothing to change, but I do believe I’d grow quite bored. Are you playing my route this week, Abel?”

You shook your head. “No, Cain. I… I believe I’ll be taking a new route this week.”

“Oh?” Naoya sounded deeply interested. “A new route? _Do tell_ , brother.”

You heard the crack of someone stepping on a stick and glanced behind you. Atsuro stood there, looking bewildered.

“Kazuya…” He murmured.

“How much did you hear?” You asked, more curious than concerned.

Atsuro seemed nervous, shifting from side to side. “Enough to know that you and Naoya have lived this week over and over. Enough to know that Naoya killed you once, long ago.”

You laughed softly, more amused than anything. You knew nothing he heard would mean anything in a few days, so why would you care if he didn’t like what he’s heard or if he was scared? Nonetheless, he was a good friend to you, so you felt obligated to reassure him at least somewhat. “You need not fear me, Atsuro. I would not harm you. Nor would Cain.”

“I see,” the dark-haired teen said, sounding faint.

“Atsuro,” Naoya spoke coldly. “It would be in your best interests to forget what you’ve heard here and go back to the group.”

Despite appearing nervous, Atsuro shook his head. “I promised to stand by Kazuya. I won’t leave, no matter what.”

Now you shook your head. “No, Atsuro, the route I intend to follow is not one you can follow me on. You must stay to guide the others when I am gone.”

Suddenly, Naoya grabbed your shoulders and spun you around to face him. “Don’t you dare, Abel,” he snarled, fury plain in his voice. “ _Don’t you dare!_ You can’t leave me alone here!”

“You’d get on fine without me, Cain,” You replied easily, voice calm and unaffected. “My life is not of any true importance.”

Atsuro seemed to suddenly understand what you were implying, for he began protesting loudly as well. “K-Kazuya! You-- you can’t do that… Anything would be preferable to suicide…”

“Anything?” You mused quietly, taking your bottom lip between your teeth and chewing slightly as you thought aloud. “I suppose there is another route that I have not taken…” Your voice is soft, but something dark has crept into your voice.

Judging by Naoya’s expression, he seemed to know where your thoughts were going and remained silent; Atsuro, however, seemed inclined to believe the best of you and did not see what your brother did, as he smiled and nodded. “See, Kazuya, there are other options; you don’t need to hurt yourself.”

A grim smile finds its way onto your face and you laugh softly. The laugh sounds sick and twisted even to your own ears but it doesn’t seem to faze Naoya; if anything your brother seems amused by the sound. Atsuro, on the other hand, seems scared. You don’t blame him, especially with your next words.

“You would really find killing everyone in sight preferable, Atsuro?” You question, a strange gleam lighting your blue eyes as you contemplate the idea. “The idea has merit,” you continue in a murmur. “Perhaps…”

“I told you, Atsuro,” Naoya spoke softly. “You’d be better off with everyone else. You are out of your league.”

Atsuro nodded, seeming dazed by your words. He says nothing as he leaves, and you distantly wonder if he’s going to tell Yuzu, Keisuke, and Midori what he saw. You don’t really care if he does; if by some chance they actually believe him, which you think is unlikely, then it won’t matter by the end of the week when it starts again.

“Abel, just stay with me,” Naoya finally said, in a tone that made it clear he wasn’t really going to take no for an answer. He leaned forward now, and his next lines were whispered into your ear. “We’ll get through this.. You and I… we don’t belong with them, not truly. We’ve seen too much, done too much, _lived too many lives_ to belong with them.”

“Cain… I need to do this…” You replied gently. “Worst case scenario, I simply wake up to the beginning of the week.”

Naoya snarled angrily, tugging you closer possessively as he presses his lips to your ear as he spoke in harsh tones. “No, worst case scenario, God steals you away from me and you never return to life!” Your cousin sounds truly distressed at the thought and you feel guilty even as he pulls you into a desperate hug and continues speaking. “You must live! You _must_!” He says insistently. “Just… don’t join Yuzu and Atsuro at the beginning of next week. We don’t need them to overthrow God-- they wouldn’t join us anyhow. We’ll destroy him for once and for all, and then we’ll be free of this sick game, and free to rule. We’ll do better than that bastard ever did!”

“I… Cain…” You murmured into his shoulder, feeling tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. His words touched you, almost as deeply as the power of Bel deep within your soul. “How… how could I ever have even considered leaving you…?”

He pulled away to fix you with a stern glare. “You can’t,” he said firmly. “You’re mine.”

You leaned against him and whispered, “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll stay.”

He was right. You couldn’t leave, not without Naoya… you wouldn’t leave Cain, despite what he’d done to you.

But in the end, you lied. In the end, Naoya’s plan failed. Just like all your other plans. You couldn’t accept it, couldn’t bear to live another week like this, and the very week after your failure to destroy God, you took your ‘new route’. You left, just as you’d hoped-- but not for long.

When you awoke to a new week, Cain standing over you, looking furious, you buried your face in your hands and cried.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i am sorry


End file.
